Opposition Party and FDC fighting over Blagojevich

Rod Blagojevich, the American with the cough-like name, is being courted by certain parties in Bangladesh.

Political analyst Khokon Bass says, "Blagojevich, in spite of his name, faith and nationality, actually portrays the roister-doistering, thrust-and-parry political style that is more in tune with Bangladesh than with America. It's a rat race and he is a fat cat. It's a dog eat dog world and he is a son of a bitch."

Well spoken, Khokon! Opposition party leader Begum Kutubunnesa, mother-in-law to the country and CEO of Bangladesh Moulik Committee or BMC, said in a recent press conference: "Now that the police have thrown eggs at my nephews, they don't want to enter politics anymore. They are more interested in X-Box and illegal international bank accounts. Blagojevich has the kind of strategizing and maneuvering skills that I feel exemplify BMC's style. Plus, he has hair just like mine. I am dying to use his perming machine and I doubt I would get it if he were sent to jail in America."

But while Begum Kutubunnesa has her sights set on Blagojevich, so does a certain non-political but very influential industry: FDC! Upon being interviewed, famous FDC extra Nirob Bhuiyan said: "With Ilias Kanchon getting boring and old, and Monowar Hussain Dipjol in jail, we stand a very real chance of losing the public's interest. Blagojevich can fill that gap. He is, first of all, whiter in skintone than even Salman Shah. Secondly, he is like Raja in the movie Sheersho Shontrashi--he is both a hero and a villain. Like an anti-hero or rather, to use the proper term, hillain. His hair and his spoken English will take him far in the Dhaliwood industry."

Whether or not Blagojevich joins politics or movies, it seems like he has a fun life ahead of him! And here he was trying to sell a black man's leavings.

PICTURED: Blagojevich's first possible movie. A sound career choice? We at JK think so!

US failure McCain calls Kutubunnesa, Kutubunnesa promises revolution

John McCain, the American who is famous for losing the Presidential Election to rising black Obama and having a beautiful wife, called Begum Kutubennesa to express his sorrow at her loss in this Election.

Speaking through a translator (for McCain is ignorant in Bangla), he said, "Begum, your joy is my joy, your sorrow is my sorrow. I had hoped that you would win the election. I even prayed for you to win but we all know what happens to those whose victory I pray. Bridget, my adopted Bangladeshi daughter, quite adores you, and as such I could not refuse to call. She is very strong and I was afraid she would run around the drawing room with her eyes closed and break our furniture."

The honorable Begum, mother-in-law of the nation, responded to McCain in English. "Thank you", she said. "Very good."

Begum Kutubunnesa, CEO of Bangladesh Moulik Committee or BMC, is planning a comeback. BMC was the worst-hit when the temporary government raided the bank accounts of politicians and non-elected party bigwigs, including Kutubunnesa's two favorite nephews. Kutubunnesa's plans include an immediate declaration of public revolt. It can be said that Kutubunnesa is revolting even now. Said the glorious opposition leader: "I do not believe that the Bangladeshi people know what is good for them. This is why it is my duty as mother-in-law to the nation to guide them. I do not know why they voted for Begum Humayunnesa, who is proven to be corrupt, craven, treacherous and uneducated. I will save my country and bring peace. We will make Bangladesh even more democratic! This is why I am proposing a pubic uprising against the government elect, and am declaring the month of January to be a hartal."

Begum Humayunnesa, CEO of Deshpremik Dol, proclaimed: "My party has been elected by the people, and we rule by divine right. I personally made sure that BMC members were issued printed invitations asking them to vote. However, a mistake at the printing press caused the Election Date to be printed as 3 January, 2009."