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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Top 10 Responses to Telling People You're Divorced

By Hunter-walli, Mohila Correspondent

1. (The case being that you're fairly young, female and Bangladeshi) Random nurse at a hospital remarking upon the fact that the former husband was very good looking (i.e. forsha) and the wife wasn't (i.e. kaalo), "It's a problem if you marry men who are too good looking. They don't want to stay with you for too long.

2. A "well-wishing" neighbor assuming that the wife was the dumped instead of the dumpee, "It happens. Men do go after prettier women after a while. Why don't you enroll in a gym?"

3. A relative of the former husband who had no idea of anything that had been happening, "Divorce? Oh, poor thing, he's alone now! I hope you left him the baby?"

4. A friend's mother, "I knew this was going to happen. Women should only wear saris after marriage and give up salwar kameezes."

5. A female relative, "Oh, how sad. You know, I told you three years ago to take another baby, and now there's no chance, you're stuck with one child."

6. A shocked newspaper editor on being told of the divorce and the causes (mental and physical abuse), "But are you sure about the physical abuse? Were you there?"

7. A (former) aunt-in-law, "Oh, that's okay. I'm sure he'll forgive you and take you back once the three months of iddat are over."

8. A college friend met after a gap of about ten years (in a wailing tone), "But I've just bought a wedding gift for you since I hadn't given you anything back then!"

9. A friend's (Jamaati) uncle: (Raised eyebrows, gunshot comments, each repeated for effect) "Oh!" Brief pause. Then. "Unfortunate, unfortunate, not to worry, not to worry, try again, try again!"

And the undoubted winner:

10. A police officer at the Thana while recording the information for a General Diary against the battering husband, "Oh, you want to do a GD, domestic violence." Looking up from the huge register book, "So are you married?"

PICTURED: May divorce be with you.

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